Dealing with stress

Stress comes from a feeling of being out of control. Here are some tactics for dealing with it:

  1. Manage your thoughts.
  2. Build a strong sense of self.
  3. Let nothing control you.
  4. Imagine the best in others.


  1. Manage your thoughts. It is not events which cause stress but the interpretation of them. Meditating and writing a diary can help objectify thoughts, reducing the emotional reaction to them. Being grateful also helps. It’s very difficult to be grateful for something and stressed at the same time.
  2. Build a strong sense of self. Constant improvement in physical and mental health increases a feeling of self-assurance. Seeing a direct correlation between input and output helps to increase responsibility for events and therefore control over them.
  3. Let nothing control you. Let go of dependencies. Drink, food, money and possessions trap people in a cycle of unfulfilled desire. The same is true of people, create a world which works according to your timetable. Less stress is better for everyone.
  4. Imagine the best in others. It is hard to imagine a stressful situation without it requiring someone else’s opinion. By looking for the most positive possible reaction such as imagining help and support the situation will seem less threatening.

Tips for selling

Selling is facilitating the exchange of one thing for another. It can foster efficiency and community if gone about in the appropriate manner. Here are some tips for doing it effectively:

  1. Enable the person to explain their own need. Whether it is known or not, this is best left for the customer to frame it in their own terms. They may have their own interpretation. Then it can be understood better and before presenting the appropriate solution. It is the solution, not the product which is interesting to people.
  2. Inform rather than sell. The ideal is to know more about the customer’s problem than they do. But this still requires empathy to demonstrate that by concentrating on what the product does rather than what it is. Even better than presenting a solution is to present an unknown problem. Then shock, impress, and even change customers’ view of the world.
  3. Don’t try to reverse a no. When a someone says no they cement the belief that this this not a good exchange. Changing a belief is almost impossible. However, presenting new information in a new light allows for a new decision.
  4. Be clear about the deal. People feel like their being pushy when selling. When in fact 70% of sales calls don’t make a proposal. Make sure to be very clear about what is being provided in exchange for what.
  5. Create a user experience. Both on paper and in people’s minds. Even better give people a real experience if possible. The closer they are to experiencing the product the stronger their understanding and attachment. Focus on the value and the benefits and not on the price.
  6. Have belief in the product and exchange. If you don’t believe that your customer’s lives will be uniquely improved by the exchange then don’t do it. Make sure to understand and embrace it entirely.
  7. Don’t disagree. This may sound false but the reaction will either be dislike and therefore distrust of you. Or dislike or distrust of themselves. Both of which are a barrier to trade. Your aim is to facilitate an exchange. Not correct one of another humans many misconceptions.
  8. Follow up consistently. Always follow up 5/6 times. Although be efficient, understand who your real prospects are and don’t spam. Your looks, words, body language, all conveying a message which should be aligned with your product. People want certainty in this respect.
  9. Build rapport. This leads to trust. All the customer has to know is that you are better informed than he and want the best for him. If you can achieve this, everything else is irrelevant. You can demonstrate how much you care by giving first, listening, building rapport, being willing to go above and beyond.
  10. Plan in advance. Use outcome based thinking to be totally sure about your actions. What do I want. What do they want. What problems will be brought up. How will they be addressed. What is the final outcome. Ask and answer these questions of yourself.
  11. Don’t sell harder, market smarter. If all the information is provided in a clear and concise way selling should not be a problem. The thing to work on is how to build, find and approach appropriate prospects.
  12. Accept the emotion. It sounds simple but these decisions are made emotionally and then rationalised. Work out emotion first, the why? Time? Money? Status? Then back up with the logic.


The psychology of selling
Sell or be sold
The challenger sale
Secrets of closing the sale
To sell is human
If you’re not first you’re last
Covert persuasion
80/20 Sales and marketing


Tips for being happy

A view of happiness is that it’s based on the current self’s congruence with the ideal self. Whenever the two are increasingly misaligned there is unhappiness, increasing alignment results in happiness. Some ways to reduce misalignment are:


  1. Accept all things as equal.
  2. Always look for the positive interpretation.
  3. Have clear purpose for actions.
  4. Create total autonomy.
  5. Practice self-discipline.
  6. Maintain community.
  7. Be true to yourself and others.


  1. Accept all things as equal. By accepting everything within the universe as equal one thing cannot be better than the other. Therefore there can be no misalignment between the ideal and the current. There is only what is and then the and individual’s interpretation of it.
  2. Always look for the positive interpretation. As only the interpretation of events can create meaning, by looking for the positive interpretation, the one which closes the gap between the current and the ideal there is consistent happiness. It is almost impossible to be grateful and unhappy at the same time.
  3. Have clear purpose for actions. If happiness is created by closing the gap between the current and the ideal. An ideal is required. Things are defined as good when they pull you towards that goal and bad when they are inconsistent with it. This could be self-improvement, a product for others or community. Ignore perfection for its own sake. Every action should be achievement oriented and have a scope which sets the context for its completion.
  4. Create total autonomy. Things themselves may not be better or worse than each other. But it’s still possible to want to improve their collective shape and reduce arbitrary impacts on the self. Autonomy creates this, but it only exists when put ahead of material possessions, relationships, everything. Although a car may be seen as a liberating vehicle, it creates a dependency. Happiness must exist with or without the car. Without autonomy actions will not be fulfilling as they are not in direct congruence with personal ideals.
  5. Practice self-discipline. This is your muscle which aligns the self with the vision of yourself. The stronger the muscle the more efficiently you will be able to pull those strands together.
  6. Maintain community. You see yourself reflected in those around you. Without a reflection you have no base level on which to see yourself. Strong communities have been shown to live happier, longer lives.
  7. Be true to yourself and others. Just as a gap between the current and the ideal can cause problems in a material sense. So it can in an emotional one. Congruence between the self and the projected self-image sets the tone for congruence between the self-image and reality.